You Only Hold Me Up Like This
by AidenConner
Summary: And as she saw him, sweating and vomiting over the toilette, she knew by the look in his eyes that some secrets weren't ment to be told. Definate Dasey in the beginning. Compleated!
1. I've Got Headaches, and Bad Luck

Chapter One

I've Got Headaches, and Bad Luck

Derek had been acting strange lately. Not particularly nice, or particularly mean, just different. He had spent a lot of time in his bedroom- so much time in fact that fifteen-year-old Casey MacDonald had started to wonder exactly what he was doing in there.

He was a fifteen year old boy, so Casey had some idea of what he was doing, but usually he played Brittany Spears music when he did that. No, his room had been silent for days. And when he did come out it was like he was empty. Every time Casey made a rude comment on his behavior he would respond with a wry smile and went back to his room. He just took it.

And then there was Nora and George. Every time Casey or Lizzie, or even Marti made a comment on how he was acting they would just close it with a lame little excuse 'He had a headache-" Lizzie and Edwin may fall for that one, but not Casey. She knew better than that, and besides, George was quite possibly the worst lyer on the planet.

There were just so many things that Derek could of done to cause this rapid and frosty change between he and the rest of the family, that it left Casey with hours of enjoyment going over all the possible scenarios.

But now her curiosity had gotten to her, and she was becoming so restless she felt that she was going to burst she noticed as she got dressed on a hot Saturday morning in July. She chose a simple ripped Jean mini skirt and a black tank top that looked amazing against her newly tanned skin and hair which she had curled and tied back into a clip.

She welcomed the cool feeling of the hardwood floor as she walked down the steps of her Okachobee, Canada home. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a Banana from the counter eating it hungrily. The subject of Derek had gotten boring lately, but for some reason, she couldn't keep his face from her mind. It was like some kind of obsessive crush that she had on him.

No, not crush. Definitely not. No way. Just an obsession.

On a boy.

Sam hadn't been by lately, either. Maybe that was it! Maybe Derek and Sam had gotten into a fight. Their friendship had been a little stressed since Casey had broken it off with Sam. It was just too weird, having Sam act like a total sweetheart when he was with her, and then listen to him talk with Derek about other girls and hockey. Sam had gotten pretty angry with her after she broke up with him- violent even, but luckily she had done it close to home. She wondered what would of happened if no one was around.

She smiled as Marti walked in wearing some purple princess outfit that she had begged for a whole nine minutes before George had gotten it for her. At least the five-year-old was getting a good wear out of it. She hadn't taken it off in weeks.

"Hey Marti," She said sweetly as she saw her step-sister open the refrigerator door. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making a sandwich." The little girl said as she stood on her tippy-toes, trying to reach the peanut butter.

"Why? Are you hungary? I'll make a sandwich for you-"

"No. It's for Smerek-" Marti said, giving up as Casey grabbed the jar of Jiffy for her.

"Derek?" Casey asked questioningly. "Did he ask you to make a sandwich for him?" She paused. "It figures. He can't do anything for himself."

"No" Marti said, holding on to the edges of the counter, jumping up and down as she watched Casey make the conglomeration of peanut butter and grape jelly. "I'm just making it for him."

"That's nice of you." Casey said. "Why would you want to go and do that though?"

"Because he is getting skinny. Edwin told me that if you keep getting skinny you will turn into nothingness." Marti said matter-of-factly, completely believing what her older brother had told her.

"Well, we wouldn't want that to happen-" Casey said sarcastically. "Have you spoken to Derek today?"

"Yeah. He was in the potty."

Derek walked into the kitchen just then, not saying a word as he reached into the medicine cabinet, grabbing an hand full of aspirin and swallowing them.

"What's up with you?" Casey asked

"Is Smerek sick?"

"I've got a headache." Derek said as he drank straight from the sink. Casey looked at him from the side. He did look thinner, but she just shrugged it off as he walked back to his room in silence.

--------

Yeah, I know. It was a pretty useless chapter, but it was just to introduce you into the setting. Belive me, in the upcoming chapters there is going to be so many twists. If you think that you know what is going to happen, you just wait. You'll be shocked. Suggestions are needed, and will be answered and be used if their is something that you want to happen. Read and Review, and I will update very soon.

Aiden


	2. Some Secrets Weren't Ment To Be Told

Life With Derek

Chapter Two

Some Secrets Weren't Meant To Be Told

"It hurt so bad-" Derek Venturi thought, when he got sick. It had happened a lot more lately, and that scared him. He brushed his teeth rapidly looking into the fogged up mirror. He was wearing a yellow and green Bob Marley shirt and Hollister jeans with a too small Hockey sweatshirt next to him on the counter. He spit out his tooth paste wispering 'shit' as some of it fell onto his shirt. He sighed as he pulled his favorite article of clothing over top of his head. He suddenly lurched over, a sharp pain in his side.

"Not today..." Derek wispered to himself. He couldn't get sick today. He had things to do. Important things. But before he knew it, he was haunched over the toilette. It was like all the warmth had been taken from him. He was always so cold, and it was like every drop of blood in his body had been rerouted into his stomach. He heard a knock on the door.

"Derek! Can you please hurry up? You've been in there forever.Your sister is going to kill someone." It was Nora.

"Yeah-" He croaked as he felt that numbness again in his stomach, and as hard as he tried not to, he threw up what little he had eaten in the past day into the toilet. He heard a distant rapping on the door. It seemed like the volume had ben turned down on his life. "Derek! I am going to the mall with Emily in fifteen minutes. I have to take a shower!" He grabbed the toilet paper holder to try and stabilize himself, his vision fading in and out. His bare feet were freezing against the cold tile floor and he felt as if his sopping wet hair had turned into icicles.

"Derek! I have twelve minutes. If you don't open this door, I am going to do it for you."

Derek tried to say something in protest, but instead he just emptied the rest of the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He fought the dizziness that had swept over his body, though he began to slip from consciousness.

"Derek, I am coming in" Casey said, though to Derek it just sounded like a faint wispier. The air that rushed into the room as Casey opened the door rely warm as Derek let out a sigh. "Derek? Are you al right?" Casey asked questioningly, though it was pretty aparent that he was not.

"I'm not feeling too good, Case-" Derek wispered

Casey walked up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He jerked uncomfortably. He was so pale it scared her. "I am going to get George-"

"No." A voice loud and strong said, coming from Derek, who at the moment seemed anything but that. "Don't tell them, Casey. Please."

Casey looked at him oddly. He looked so helpless, and Casey felt genuinely sorry for him. "Please keep this secret for me Casey" Derek said, some color beginning to return to his face, though it still had the same pained look across it.

"Is this why you've been in your room lately?"

Derek ignored her. "Please?"

And as she saw him, sweating as he vomited into the toilet again, the look on his face made her believe that some secrets weren't meant to be told.

------

Under Derek's plea, Casey had left the bathroom and five minutes later, Derek fallowed in suit, though he didn't return to his room, though Casey could tell that he wanted to. Instead he joined George in his rusty 1984 station wagon and they drove away.

"Casey, Emily's at the door-" Her mom screamed as a newly refreshed Casey grabbed her purse and ran down the stairs.

"What's up?" Emily smiled as Casey closed the door behind them as they walked to the strip mall which was only a mile up the road.

"Not much." Casey said momentously. "Just waiting for school to start up again-"

"Not me" Emily snorted as she looked at Casey from the side. "How can you be so anxious for school to start up again when you haven't been to one good summer party. you haven't embraced it yet."

"What do you mean?"

"I know that before you moved to Canada you lived in Arizona, so you don't relize that here, winters are long." She talked in a dreamy voice, ovbiously wishing that summer would last forever. "Really long, so when summer gets here its like one big celebration. You haven't even been to one paty yet."

"I don't really ever go to parties-" Casey said. "And it's not like I am number one on every ones invite list"

"Well, I am having a party tonight. You should come over. Let loose. Even bright Derek if you want-"

A smile spread across Casey's face. "Al right. I will."

------

Casey smiled as she walked up the stairs. Emily had helped her pick out the hottest party outfit, though she couldn't help but be suprised as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her black halter top and acid washed mini skirt looked so unlike her. With her hair tied back in a tight pony tail and black ribbon necklace even made her look- sexy. Her make up was much darker than she had ever worn it before, and she completed her outfit with black heels that tied in a bow around her ankles.

A smile spread across her face. She felt good about herself, better than she had when she had dressed like a nun. Maybe she would start showing skin more often. She walked across the hall and rapped on Derek's door. She knew that despite her wardrobe change, Emily would be pretty angry if she didn't bring Derek with her. "Derek?" she called, rapping on the door again.

"Just a minute"He said as Casey could hear stirrings on the other side of the door. "Yes?" he said, opening the door just enough for him to stick his head out. He scanned her up and down. "You look dressed up."

"Yeah, Emily's having a party. I was wondering if you wanted to-" She stopped, catching a wiff of something in her nose. Her eyes grew wide. "Have you?-" she asked as she pushed the door open further, smelling again. "Ohmigod, Derek. Have you been smoking pot?"

"No..."Derek said, looking taken aback. 'Why would you say that?"

Casey pushed the door open all the way, walking inside. "Mainly because your room reeks of Marijuana, and because your pupils are the size of saucers-" She took a deep breath, angry that Derek had made such a negative life style choice. "You know, Derek. I don't know what has been going on with you lately, but this is the last straw. I am telling Mom and George!-"

Casey looked at her brother. He looked horrible, and she wondered if his was the life of stoners everywhere. He was plae and thin, and his face looked sunken in, but still in some sick way, Casey still thought that he looked cute. She started to walk out the door, but she felt him pull her back in.

"They already know-" Derek said

"What?"

"They already know that I'm smoking-"

"That's a lie, Derek. Why in hell would they let you do that?"

Derek walked past Casey and closed his bedroom door. "Casey, if I tell you why I am somkeing, do you promise not to tell Marti or Lizzie or the kids at school?"

"Al right?" Casey said uncertainly. She shot of felt like she was selling her soul to the devil.

"I am serious. I want you to swear on your life that you wont tell Emily or Sam or Edwin...especially Edwin..."

"I swear Derek, gosh. You must be high. Your talking like a crazy person-"

"It helps with the pain-" Derek said as Casey looked at him wide eyed, expecting more. Derek paused, not wanting to say it, because if he said it aloud, to Derek, it would mean that it was true. "I have Cancer, Case-"

"You really are out of your mind" Casey said, angry as she got up off the corner of Derek's bed.

"Sit down, Casey-" He said as she looked at his face.

"Oh, god. Your serious-" she wispered. The look on his face almost brought tears to her eyes. He looked so scared and vounderable, like he would never be happy again. "How- when did you find out?"

"About a month ago. Before my mom and dad got married they had genetic tests done, to se if they had the genes for any deadly deseises. My mom's parents both had the dwarfism gene they didn't know about, so when they first had their children, my Uncle Brian turned out a dwarf. My mom wanted to make sure that that didn't happen between her and my dad." Derek paused for a minute, and Casey thought he had fallen asleep, but when she looked at him, she saw that he was holding back tears."It turned out that they both had the gene for a rare genetic abdominal cancer. The doctor said that there was only a four percents chance of one of their children getting sick. I guess that I am one of the four percent"

"Are you going to be Ok?"

"Maybe. They caught it sort of soon but it had already metastasized into my appendix, which they took out when I went to 'Hockey Camp' I started my first round of chemo last week..."

"Derek? Are you going to die?" Casey said, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"No!' Derek said getting up next to her and wiping a tear from her eye. "No way-"

Derek sent her off to her party as he looked at the door he had just sent Casey out of. He sat down in his office chair, putting his feet up on the desk. That definitely wasn't the first time he had had a beautiful girl in his room, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Casey looked good in anything, but something about the way she was dressed tonight made him go crazy. She looked so georgous that Derek seriously had to restrain himself from jumping on top of her. But she had asked the question that he had asked himself dozens of times. Was he going to die?

"I don't know, Case-" he said taking a drag from his joint. "I really don't know-"

---------------------------------

HA! Bet you didn't see that coming. Actually, most of you probably did, it's no the most original of ideas...but I am trying. I really need suggestions and constructive criticism to keep this going so read and review. More twists are coming, and thank you soo much for reading. I am going to respond with an akgnowladgements page later. Aiden


	3. We're Making Out Inside Crashed Cars

Chapter Three

We're Making Out Inside Crashed Cars

Casey was pissed. So more than she had ever been in her life. At her mom, Geroge, and at anyone who had the odacity to come and talk to her. At the moment she was in the room listening to music that seemed to calm her mood.

She understood why her parents hadn't told the younger children about Derek's con-condition. But not her. Not Casey. Anything Derek could handle, she could handle too. Casey paused. That statement had been true in the past, but was it anymore. She paused again. If her and Derek had to switch places would she be able to handle his situation with as he did? He almost acted as if he didn't care that his body was killing him, but then again, Derek had never been one to express his feelings.

As her song came on the radio and she couldn't help but think of Derek as a tear rolled down her face.

--------

He was feeling much better today, thank god. For Derek, this was the greatest day of the year. The end of the summer party, and to top it all off he had turned 16 only a few days before and his newly printed and laminated license lay in his wallet waiting to be used. The hot water was starting to run out he noted as he washed his hair rapidly. Every cevass of his body was clean and smelling good by the time he began to rinse his hair, closing his eyes to avoid soap getting into them and turned off the water. He grabbed a towel and walked out of the shower.

He jumped as he saw Casey brushing her teeth. "Don't you knock?" He said but he couldn't help but smile. Casey always made him smile. He grabbed his boxers and put them on underneath his towel and then unwrapped it. Casey burst out laughing. "What?" Derek said as Casey pointed at his boxes which were covered with pictures of Spiderman. "He's cool"

"Right, Derek." Casey said as she rolled her eyes and carefully put on some lip gloss. She threw him his jeans and he put them on his feet freezing as he pushed Casey over a little so that he could see the mirror. "Derek!" She exclaimed as he smeared lip gloss along the side of her face.

"Sorry" He muttered as he brushed his teeth. "You look nice" He muttered, his mouth full of foam.

"Yeah. Emily invited me to this end of the year party thing. Apparently it's pretty big around here."

"Yeah, I'll drive you if you want..." He said, rinsing out his mouth.

"Your going?' Casey inquired. She wasn't sure if a party that Derek was going to would be her scene.

"Yeah. It's the biggest party of the year. Why wouldn't I go?"

"I dunno. I just didn't think that you would be up to it what with your-" She stopped as Derek looked at her angrily.

"You didn't unplug the shower-" she said, making a quick save.

"Are you sure? I thought I pushed that lever thing down?"

"Do you hear the water draining?" Casey asked as Derek walked to the bathtub. The nozzle was down, he saw. There was probably a washcloth blocking the drain. He felt something and grabbed it, suprised to find a clump of hair. The Venturi-MacDonald house had a strict bathroom rule- everyone had to clear the drain before they left. The hair was too light to be Edwins or Caseys, and way to short to be Lizzie's.

"Son of a Bitch!" Derek yelled as he hit the bathroom wall with his hand.

"What?" Casey asked. The water was draining from the tub now. She looked at Derek.

"Nothing." He said as she saw him throw something into the toilet and flush it. "Be ready and in my car in 15 minutes." and with that he walked into his room and slammed the door.

"I don't know why he won't talk to me-" Casey said to herself.

------

Derek looked at himself in the mirror. This was not soposed to be happening. The doctors had said- they had promised that his hair was not going to fall out until his second round of chemo, but sure enough, his hair was falling out. It was just barely noticeable, but thinner none the least. He got dressed and jumped in the car with Casey like nothing had happened.

------

Casey was having a great time Derek noted sourly, although she had managed to stay no more than ten feet away from him the whole night, not that Derek could blame her. She was probably scared that he was going to get sick or something. Derek looked on bitterly as a girl walked up to him.

"Hey" She smiled. Derek glanced at her. He had seen her around school a few times.

"Hi. How's it going"

"It's going" the girl smiled "Party's slowing down a bit."

"I'm Derek-'" he smiled as he scanned her up and down. She was thin and athletic with skin so tan he was amazed that he could see her in the dark. She had beach blonde hair that was cut just below the shoulder blades and fixed pin-straight. All in all he would of given her an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10 except for her piercing blue eyes that boosted her up to an 8.5.

"I know..." The girl smiled. "I'm Laine-"

"Pleasure-" Derek smiled. Suddenly his grin dropped as he saw a guy who was talking to Casey lead her to the dance floor which was on the sandy beach.

"Do you want to dance?" The girl he had just been introduced to as Laine asked.

"Sure" Derek said as he grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor. The music picked up speed and so did the dancing as he felt the girl grind up against him, though he didn't really pay attention. He was too busy watching Casey and her man who he now relised as some punk he had beat up in the second grade. He suddenly jerked as he saw the guy put his hand on her butt.

"Will you excuse me for a minute?" Derek said as he walked up to the two. As he got closer to them he couldn't help but get more and more angry and when he pulled him away from her it was with much more force than he had originally intended.

"Hey man... What the hell?" the kid said as he stumbled back a few feet.

"Nobody puts a hand on her ass" Derek said, pointing at Casey "Unless I tell him to.."

"She's a big girl. She can make her own dicisions..."

"You have better watch what you say to me, Nick. I beat you up when I was eaight and I have grown a lot since then. You've stayed pretty much the same size... Are you sure you want to mess with me?"

"Whatever, man.."Nick said as he walked away. Derek looked around to find Casey but she was gone. He saw her storming away down the beach and into the dunes.

"Casey!" Derek yelled, fallowing her. "Casey!" She didn't answer him, but she did speed up her pace. Derek caught up with her as she reached the top on one of the smaller sand dunes. "Casey, stop.." He said as he got in front of her.

"Go Away Derek!" She yelled. "You can not do things like that. I can make my own descisions. I know what I want!"

"You can not tell me that you want a guy ho had his hand on your ass after him knowing you for less than five minutes." Derek yelled back.

"Oh, please..." Casey exclaimed. "Like your any better... I saw you dancing with that blonde haired skank. If their weren't other people around, I am sure that you would of screwed her right there on the dance floor..."

"Casey, that's not true-" Derek said as she started to walk away again. "Casey-stop. Casey, will you please just listen to me?"

"Derek. I can't belive you. Your the biggest hipocryte I have ever-"

Casey stopped as her eyes grew wide. Derek was kissing her. As mush as he mind protested, she went with it. She let out a soft moan as he pulled away, the taste of his kiss on her lips. She slowly opened his eyes as she saw him standing in front of her, his hands in her pockets, looking down at the ground.

"Um..." Casey said, shocked, looking for the right words to say. "Yeah...Well. Oh, what the hell" And with that she pressed her body up against his, their lips met together so fervently that she felt she could die right there. Months and months of built up sexual tension was unleashed as they explored the layouts of each others mouths. Their kiss was so hot, so passionate that Casey hardly noticed when they were at the door of Derek's car. She crawled into the drivers seat as Derek came down on top of her. He started up the car, rolling up the windows. She moaned as he kissed her cheek, her collarbone, behind her ear. She opened her eyes. "Derek?" She said, short of breath.

"Yeah?" He said his voice muffled by her lips.

"It's 4:30"

Derek stopped. "In the morning?"

"No..It's actually daylight out..." Casey said sarcastically as she slid over in the seat as the two drove home.

-------

Derek lay in his bed. He seemed almost lost. All he had wanted for so long was Casey that now that he had her, he was unsure of what to do next. All he knew was that fifteen minutes ago, he and Casey were making out in his car, and he wasn't thinking about the pain, or his cancer, or what the kids were going to say at school. All he could think about was her. A smile spread across his face. Maybe he always did get what he wanted.

Yeah. Dereks a player. I really tried to make this chapter as emotional as possible, and I hope I did a good job. In the next few chapters things are going to be more more soap opera like, and I think your going to be seeing more of Laine, the girl Derek was danceing with. Suggestions are needed and will be used. Please read and reveiw, it really does keep me wrighting. Much love forever, Aiden.


	4. Waste My Time Dreaming of Being Alive

September had come and gone with such a swiftness that Derek feared that he would get whipslah if he tried to look back. Derek looked out his window of hs hospital bed in number 452 in the Ontario Children's hospitol. It was a frosty morning in October, snow already falling onto the ground. It was so beautiful and serene that Derek couldn't help but think of Casey.

Their relationship has countined, they managing to keep their relationship away from their parents. There had been a close call when Edwin caught them fooling around in Derek's room, but they had cleared that up quickly telling him that they were having a wresteling match.

Derek smiled, remembering the moment fondly. He hadn't seen Casey in nearly a week. Not since he had started round two of his chemotherapy. She had stopped by once, but almost burst into tears when she saw him. He did look like death, and for Casey, that was just way too much to handle. Of coarse, she had walked in on his worst treatment to date. He felt like his intestines had been ripped out and the doctors were pushing morphine into him by the liter. And the nausia was horrible. He had actually pulled muscles in his stomach and back from gagging so hard. If chemo wasn't hell, it sure was in the same ZIP code.

But Casey kept him fighting, kept him alive, and he needed that. He needed her, as much as he didn't want to admit it, and he knew that he was falling in love with her. And that scared him. She preoccupied his mind constantly. It seemed like all he could do was think about her laugh or how the corners of her mouth twitched when she tried to hide her smile when he did something stupid. He could only picture how she would tuck her hair behind her ears constantly, and how when she looked into his eyes, she sent a shiver down his spine because it felt like she could see right down into his soul.

He let out a muffled cough as he pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He scratched at the Canadian Hockey beanie that was on his head, acting as replacement hair. He felt broken in two.

He was so scared. God.

He needed Casey.

A tear rolled down his face as another twinge of pain hit him in the side. The cancer had spread to his kidneys, and he knew that it wasn't looking good for him. He had to get of of that hospital. It was suficating him in there. All he wanted to do was get away from the place that brought all his greatest fears to life.

Another tear came as he wiped it away, embarased. He didn't want to die. There were still so many things that he wanted to do with his life.

He wanted to play hockey professionally, visit Paris, marry Casey in the church where his parents wed in Italy. He couldn't fake his emotions as he started sobbing. His heart was breaking. He wanted to visit the Grand Canyon, go sky diving, teach his kids how to ride their bikes, try sushi, go skinny dipping, visit Jim Morrison's grave, meet the queen of England, drink coffee in Prague. But most of all he wanted Casey. Just her.

-------------------

Derek must of fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes, darkness had filled his room. He checked that small clock that was on top of the Beauro. It was 2:17. Derek checked his IV which had been newly refilled, which ment that the night shift nurses were probably watching late nite infomercials at their perspective stations.

He grimiced as he rolled himself out of bed. It was nights like this that he hated most. Nights when you were so restless that you couldn't stand it. As he walked out into the hall in his black school sweatpants with a hockey shirt, his IV rolling along with him he couldn't help but notice the silence. It was deafening to Derek. It seemed like something was always going on in the teen ward. Someone was always crying, or a new paitient was always being brought it.

A lot of the kids had grown attatched to each other, which the nurses discouraged. They knew that most of these kids didn't have much time left, and they didn't want the people who got left behind to feel any more pain than they had to.

Derek thought that that was the biggest load of bullshit that he had heard since he had found out that Bush had been elected president in the states for a second term. A lot of these kids were in a tough situation. Most of them were dying and there parents were working. They needed each other.

Derek walked the halls, his ankle socks protecting his feet from the clilling linolium floor. The ward was huge. Much bigger than needed, only half of it's potential occupancy taken up, which was good for Derek. It allowed him to have his own room.

Derek winced as a light flashed at the end of the hall. His eyes had become used to the darkn4ss of the depressing corridor and he found himself temporarially blinded. As he grew closer to the room, he heard gagging noises and sped up his pace.

When he got to the room he saw a girl about his age with blonde hair over a sink throwing up.

"Are you alright?" Derek asked as he looked in.

"Yeah, fine." The girl said between lurches.

"No, seriously. Are you alright?" Derek said as he stopped in the doorway. "Because I can go get someone-"

"No- I'm alright" The girl said as she rinced out her mouth and turned aroung. "See. All better." She stopped, her eyes wide with shock. "Derek?"

"Laine?" Derek said, almost as suprised as her. She looked different. More natural, her blonde hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She was wearing hot pink cotton pajama pants with matching flip flips and a black tanktop. Her blue eyes were even more blue than he had remebered, and were framed by eyeliner.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, a smile spreading across her face.

"Cancer-" Derek stated for some reason fealing extreme happiness.

"Wow. That's awesome!" She stated as she closed her eyes, embarased. "I mean it's awesome that your here. Not awesome that you have cancer. You didn't seem sick at the party..."

"Yeah. I know. I was just diagnosed when I went-" Derek stopped as he sat down on one of her chairs.

"Oh. That's not great..." Laine said.

"What do you mean?" Derek asked.

"Two months? That is really fast for cancer to spread. You must feal like garbage."

"Yeah, well. I'm hanging in there." Derek stated. "Well, what about you? Why are you here?"

"Kidney failure" She said a little too happily as she pounced onto her bed.

"That sucks-" Derek said, surprised. "You never seemed like it at school. You are there almost every day..."

"Yeah, I try. I do not really want people knowing about me. I don't think you do either. I really fell for that story you had about you trying a new hairstyle."

"Really? I thought that it was the lamest thing ever. My eleven year old brother could of come up with better." As he looked up, he noticed the yellowly color of her skin, so comming to kidney paitiends. He never would of guessed.

"No, it was good." Laine said, seeing him look at her skin, but ignoring it. "And it got that Emily girl off your back. She was crushing on you for the longest time. At the party-"

"About the party-" Derek said. "Sorry that I blew you off."

"Don't worry about it-" She smiled. "I was pretty sure that you were there with that Casey MacDonald chick but whatever. You can't blame a girl for trying..."

Derek smiled softly. "Me and Casey aren't togeather. We're siblings."

"Yeah, alright" Laine said sarcastically as she tightened her pony tail. "No offence, Derek, but your pretty much the worst liar ever."

"Am not." Derek smiled, mocking hurt. "I am the best liar in my family."

"That is nothing to brag about." Laine smiled."Maybe I am just very preceptive. Or maybe that it was the fact that you looked down at the ground, and twitched when you said that-"

"Jerk-" Derek said as he threw a pillow at her.

They talked for another hour or so before Laine fell asleep on her bed durning a play by play of one of Derek's games. He covered her up with a blanket a wide smile on his face.

Talking to Laine was like a breath of fresh air in his lungs. It seemed like he hadn't had any real human contact in days, and he felt like she really understood him. There was such a sweet madness about it. How they were suffering from these horrible sicknesses, and still could laugh about stupid things like teachers and rollerskating.

At the same time he was a little bothered and turned around in the hall back to Laine's room.

He gently nudged her. She woke and smiled gently. "I'm sorry. Did I fall asleep on you? I guess that I have just been running on empty lately."

He looked down at the ground as he spoke. Choosing his words carefully he said. "Don't you...Don't you care that your dying?"

Laine sighed, sitting up, patting for Derek to sit down next to her. She crossed her legs indian style. As she spoke she talked as if she was talking about a dream.

"I got sick the day I turned 13. It was a really shitty birthday." She smiled. "I kind of got the lose end in the family genetics pool. I have a rare bloodtype, so no one in the family could donate one of their kidneys. It was a month until my right kidney stopped working, the other one pulling at 30. That's when my parents told me that I wasn't going to live until Christmas. I remember that the only thing that I could think of was the fact that I was going to miss the Christmas dance. It took days for me to relise that my parents wern't joking, and that I really was dieing. I think that I lost it for a little while, then. I was just a little kid, you know. All the things that I wanted to do filled my mind. I wanted to fall in love, have a family. I had even named my kids. Girls just do that kind of stuff, I guess-" A tear rolled down her cheek. "I was lucky. Really, really lucky because a kid in Quebec got in a car accident and I got both of his kidneys. I was literally hours from dieing. I used to waste so much time dreaming of being alive, that I had forgotton to live." She paused as Derek listened to her. Not just acting like it, but really listening to her. "I actually sort of wished that some other kid would of gotton these kidneys. No matter how many surgerys I have, I am always going to end up with a really good sob story, and two jacked up kidneys."

"That's all I can think about" Derek said. "All the things that I won't be able to do-"

"Derek. you have cancer. Your only going to die if you let it kill you. Your going to get older and have a life."

"I really don't think so-"

"Oh, god" Laine said voice full of spite. "Will you listen to yourself? Your giving up, Derek. Your letting it kill you. I thought you were a fighter"

"I am" Derek said

"Then start acting like it, because your not convincing me. I've spent my entire life in this hospital. I know what breaks people-"

"So your telling me that you are perfectly fine with dying?" Derek asked unbeleivingly.

"Hell no. There are a lot of things I want to fo, but it's not like I can change them."

"Like what?"

"I want to wright a book, ride my bike across Rhode Island. I've always wanted to climb the sleeping bear dunes in Michigan... Do iceskating in my bathing suit."

"Were going to do it, Laine. Me and you. Once I get better, and you get new kidneys, we are going to do all that stuff." Derek said confidently, and he beleived it. After he got better, if he got better, he wasn't going to dream anymore. He was going to live his dreams.

"Alright, Derek-" Laine said, rolling her eyes.

"No- I'm serious" Derek smiled. "Were going to do it"

"Were going to do it?"

"Yeah, we are"

"Alright"

"Fine"

"I hope you not lying to me-" Laine smiled.

"Well, apparently, I am a bad liar, so you would know."

"Your insaine-"

"Yeah, well. It wasn't the cancer that did that-"

Gosh. I am soo sorry that it took so long to get that up. But my computer crashed, and then I had horrible wrighters block, and it was just a mess. So. You like? I am taking a whole new twist with this one, and I hope that you like it. I will try so hard to hurry and be faster with these chapters. As always, read and reveiw, and I will always take your ideas. Aiden.


	5. Now I Only Waste It Dreaming Of You

Chapter Five

Now I Only Waste It Dreaming Of You

As always, thankyou so much for your reveiws. I always take time out to read them. Here are some replies:

MayMarie- Heh. Yes, all of the things that you sent me about Kidney Failure are true, but there are also some cases like int he one of my baby sister, Ahna where the as children you can catch a virus where the kidneys are permently damaged. And the virus has been known to come back. All of the medical information I have used in this story is true. I don't really bullshit around with it. It takes the realism out of the story.

Raspberrylove- Ah... No comment. :). You will definately see more of Casey, though. And maybe even a different side of Derek.

LanaLangKent- Your pretty awsome, too.

Oh, and ignore the spelling. When I am done with this story, I am going to re-edit and everything.

----------------------------------

Three days had passed since the late night chat with Laine had taken place, and although he had been released from the hospital, he had still returned every day to visit with her, and maybe play a round or two of Candy Land.

Casey knew, of coarse, and said good for him. She said that it was wonderful for him to make a freind, though by the look on her face Derek could tell that she was jelous and hurt. He could see why. Casey and Laine were different in every aspect. And Laine was beautiful, even by his standards, so he had to find special time for Casey to remind her that she was the only girl for him.

But when he got to the hospital today, things were different. When he walked into Laine's room, he found the bed to be empty. At first, he had freaked out and ran to the nurse's station, demanding to know where she was.

"Laine Bishop?" The nurse said out loud, questioningly. "She was moved to room 115-"

"Isn't that on the first floor?" Derek said. "Why would she be there?" He had asked mainly for himsef. The hospitols floors went by range of sickness. Fifth floor were for minor cuts and burns, and where the nursery was, for new born babies. Four was where the OR was, prep and recovery, and on the second half was the teen ward, three was infections and isolation, two was out paitient care, and one was ICU and Transplant units.

"Your going to have to ask her, baby..." The nurse said. "The good lord knows there's no arguing with that girl. Once she has her mind made up about something, you best just do what she says."

"So she's not dying?"

"Dying? Heavans no. That girl has more life in her than she did they day she was born!"

Derek breathed a sigh of releif as he heard those words. It was like a humongous weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He walked down the stairs swiftly. He had been fealing more tired lately, but he was to anxious to see his friend, and he hadn't the paitience to wait for the elevator. He walked to the fourth hall of the first floor, counting the room numbers in his head as he passed them by. He slowed when he got to Laine's room, knocking slowly. He smiled as he heard someone yell "If whoever is out there actually thinks that I am busy, I suggest that they visit the Psych ward. It's on floor two-" Derek peaked his head around the corner before entering the door. "Derek!" Laine squeeled like a little girl as she gave him a hug. "I see you found my room OK-"

"Yeah. Speaking of which, why the hell are you on the first floor? We both know that that means?"

Laine blushed. "Let's not talk about that." She said defiantly. "What's going on with you and Casey?"

Derek sighed. Normally, he could talk to Casey for hours but lately she had really gotton on his nerves, and not in the cute way like she used too. It was a new kind of annoyance. "I dunno. I don't think that she really likes me comming here- She is kind of jelous of you-"

Laine snorted. "Jelous of the dying girl? Well, I haven't heard that one before. Although I do have a way of winning over the heart's of doctors'."

Derek smiled. "Well. Atleast I am not the only one who thinks that it is stupid. She can me so lame sometimes-" Derek opened a Seirra Mist that he had brought with him. "She builds up all this frusteration in her, and then she just blows up. She doesn't really have a way to vent."

"Maybe she should take up rapping. Her rap name could be C-Mac. That's pretty ghetto. C-Mac from Ocachobee, Holla!" Laine said with a straight face. Derek burst out laughing so hard that his soda came out of his nose. Lain, looking confused said, "I was serious-"

"Oh-" Derek said, his smile fading. "Sorry-"

The corners of Laine's mouth twitched as it spread into a smile. "It was a little funny-"

--------------------------------

Derek walked out of Laine's room a half an hour later fealing more confused than he could ever recall in his life. It was a pretty inlightening conversation. He had learned that her favorite color was pink, no suprise there. Her favorite song was 'Fix you' by Cold Play, and her full name was Alaina Civil Bishop. She had- or did have a big brother who's name was Jack, and he had moved to New York when she was thirteen- they were very close, she said, despite them being nearly ten years apart in age, but he had died in the September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center-. That really hurt Derek, and for the first time in his life he began to question his faith in god.

It seemed so wrong for such a gem of a person to have to go through so much hurt in there lives, and Derek tried hard, so hard to keep it out of his mind, but he knew that he was falling for the person who seemed to scare him the most- Laine Bishop.

------------------------------

He avoided Casey at all costs for the next two days. He hated how she treated him, like he was a fragile porcelin doll. When was she going to understand? When was she going to get it through her head that he wasn't a baby, but a 16 year old kid.

Everything she did annoyed him, and on the inside he knew that it wasn't entirely her fault. New High Intensity Radiation had cause him to have headaches and nausia. It was sort of like a hangover times five. Even the sound of her voice seemed to annoy him, espicially because she was on another one of her power trips, because she was unhappy with the size of the bathroom.

What else more could she want? She had already gotton her own room, to redecorate the living room, threw a fit about closet space, and even had the nerve to tell him and his friends what video games they could and could not play.

Casey was spoiled, Derek new, though he would never say it to her face. His mom, Abby, and George had taught him and Edwin to make the best of any sistuation, which explained how they were pretty uneffected when George married Nora. Abby would of taught Marti, too, but she was too little, and Abby had died too young. But not Casey. She was such a negitive person. It seemed like the bulk of her conversations here about how a great of an old life she had. How her old house was perfect, how her family was perfect. Derek wanted to tell her that if she loved her old life so much, maybe she should just move back to Arizona. And truthfully, he wouldn't be too heartbroken if she did.

It was amazing how his fealings for one person could change so dramatically in so little time. He had been crazy about Casey- crazy. But now he would do anything to stop her and her jelousy.

Derek pressed those thoughts out of his head. He was probably just thinking those thoughts because he was sick and hurting and pretty mich miserable with out Laine there to comfort him.

He found that he spent most of his time waiting for her calls, waiting to hear her voice or the sight of her sweet smile. God, he loved that smile. He felt his own mouth break into a grin as he thought about it.

------------------------------

Really short chapter, and the next one is going to be pretty short as well, but the one after that is sooo long. I think it is like, maybe forty pages in my notebook. And I am so excited for the next chapeter. Oh, just you wait. Love, Aiden. And I'm a boy, not a girl :)


	6. Turn Off The Lights, Turn On The Shyness

Chapter Six

Turn Off The Lights, and Turn Off The Shyness

Derek lay in bed early on a Saturday morning. It was two, maybe three, the sun not yet creeping over the treeline. Fe felt like he had lain there for days, though he knew that it has only been hours. It seemed like no matter how many sheep he counted, how many tracks of music he listened to, sleep would not come.

He jumped out of bed, pulling a purple T-shirt over his head, and slipping a pair of jeans over his boxers, adding white belt to his too big jeans, putting on white shoes as he jumped out of his window, and walked to his car. Only she was on his mind. It was a good twenty minute drive until he reached a quiet subdivision that was carefully blanketed under four inches of snow. He pulled to the house addressed 11229, and pulled into the drive way, releived to see that he was the only person there. Laine had once told him that her parents were buisness people, and often went on long trips. Her mother sold smart school technology for some company that her father was the CEO for.

Derek got out of his car quietly, as he stood, looking up. Despite the hour of the night a tiny bedroom at the corner of the house was carefully illuminated as he saw the silloette of the person who plagued his mind. She looked so beautiful, her blonde hair let down as she approached the window, looking out longingly. She didn't see Derek, which he was gratefull for because he feared that if she did, it would spoil the moment. Her bedroom was like a little peice of heaven in the darkness of the night. It took him a moment to relise how cold it actually was as he shivered. He pulled out his cellphone as he scanned his phone book, looking for Laine's number.

After three rings, he heard her voice, angelic though weary. "Hello?" She asked.

"Hey-" Derek said. "Did I wake you?"

"Oh- no." Laine spoke as he say a smile spread across her face from below. "My parents went to Michigan. I kind of have trouble sleeping when they're not here. Want a minute. Why are you calling so late? Is everything alright? Are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine" Derek said certaintly, but then said "Actually, I sort of have a lot of things on my mind-"

"Well, I am not going to bed for a while if you want to come over and talk-"

"Look out your window-"

"I sort of am-"

"No-" Derek laughed. "I mean, look down."

She looked down for only a minute, a look of such innocence on her face. Most girls would of been screaming and called the police, but not her. She was so trusting. "Oh, hun." She sighed on the phone. "The doors unlocked, and there's a blanket on the couch, make sure to grab one before you come up. It's like, fifteen degrees you. Your going to catch pneumonia."

Normally, if Casey would of gone on a rant like that about his health he would of gotton angry, but when Laine did it, it was because she genuinely cared. She made him feel like he wasn't sick, like he didn't have an illness. He felt like his old self when he was with her.

He walked into her home, overcome with a feeling of warmth, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. Laine ran down the stairs. Derek scanned her up and down and she said "Gosh, you look almost frooze-"

She prepared him a cup of hot chocolate as she sat down across from him on the barstools. She stared at him blandly, exaustion in her eyes. She ate a grape from the fruitbow in the corner. Her knees were pressed to her body, peanut shaped toes curling over the edge of the red valour seat. She looked so sexy in her black tank top and vintage jeans that looked as if they had been run over by a car on more than one occasion. She bangs blocked her right eye, which were carefully lined with makeup. She looked so wonderfull, but in such a different way than Casey did. Casey tried to hard, and Laine. She just had this natural, relaxed beauty about her. She just radiated, glowed.

He must of beem stating because she put her hand to her face self conciously. "What?" She asked. "So I have something on my face?"

"No" Derek said as he blinked his eyes a few times. "You look amazing-"

Laine smiled, a light blush comming to her cheeks. The phone rang. "I have to get that-" She smiled. Come up to my room when you are done."

Just as Derek walked into Laine's room, the phone clicked as she put her head down on her desk. "Is everything alright?" Derek asked.

"Yeah. Everything's fine-" Laine said as she quickly picked her head up, whipeing a tear from her cheek.

"Are you sure?" Derek asked. "You look upset."

"No. I am fine. She said as she tried to change the subject. "So. You said that you had something on your mind? What is it? Not Casey trouble, I hope?"

"I dunno. I think me and Casey are dunzo."

"Why such a wuick change of heart?"

"I think that there is a new girl in the picture?" Derek stared.

"Do I know her?"

"You might?" Derek smied. "She's just the sweetest, most intelegent person I've ever met-" Derek seemed to get lost in his words. "She says what she feels, not what she is soposed to say. She's beautiful, not just on the outside but on the inside as well. She carries herself with such grace that I almost feel like I am not good enough for her."

"You seem really caught up in this girl-" Laine smiled.

"Yeah. I guess I am." Derek said as he stood up from off her bed where he had made himself comfortable.

"So...Who is she?" Laine asked as she sat down on the edge of her desk.

Derek looked at her, only for a second as he hesitated. He just had to grit his teeth and do it. He moved closer to her as he tucked her hair away from her face, and then leaned in, looking at her eyes, pausing for only a second before their lips met. He was suprised when she didn't pull away or resist, but instead placed her hand on his neck, and waited for him to pull away.

"Derek, I can't" Laine said as he stood there, embarased.

"Why not?" Derek said as he stayed close to her, running a hand through his hair which had grown back, though a little lighter since he had the radiation treatment.

"Because there is sort of this guy thaI like- only he doesn't know it. I met him at the hospital- I've known him for a while, and we just sort of hit it off-" She said as she looked into his eyes.

Derek felt like sitting down, like he was going to faint. He had just spilled his heart out to this girl- the gril of his dreams, and she had just turned him down. It kind of hurt his ego, too. He couldn't ever remember being rejected before.

"Do I know him?" He cracked.

Lean looked at him for a moment, before pushing her hands against his chest, toppeling him against her bed. She got on top of him. "You might. His name is Derek Venturi. He's kind of a hot shot-" as she kissed him roughly. Normally, Derek was the one to take comtrol of relationsips, but he wasn't really complaning.

He breathed heavilly as they kissed again. He almost shivered from how much feeling was behind that little kiss. They rolled over, Derek on top of her, but he stopped as she ripped off her shirt, reveiling a black bra.

"What's the matter?" She asked as she saw his face which was a mixture of awe and embarasment.

"Nothing" Derek said as he felt his face heat up. "It's just that I- uh..." He looked down.

"What?" She asked

"I've never really done this before" Derek said.

Laine smiled sweetly, making Derek's heart beat faster. He wanted her so badly. She looked at him with those big blue eyes making him want to explode. "Then I guess we will have to make this something that you will remember-"

"-Just take it slow, alright?"

"Whatever you want-" Laine wispered into his ear as she slowly sat him up, taking off his shirt, and turning off the lights.

---------------------------------------

Derek's eyes popped open as he felt the warmpth of Laine's breath oh his cheast. His mind was working hard, though his body was tired. His thoughts were running through his head as he tried to find the words, the exact words to explain how he felt. Everything was so different when he was with Laine. The cars looked smaller from her window, the sky looked bigger and more beautiful- everything was just so much more intense. There was so much beauty in life. Sometimes he got lost with all the distractions. He focussed on the sound of his heart beating in the dark. He didn't want to admit it, but he was a hostage to his heart, and that he had fallen in love with Laine Bishop- and he wan't just saying that because they had had sex.

He loved everything about her- the way her hair always fell into her face, and he way she picked at her nail polish when she was nervous. She was so unselfish and full of lide. It was hard to imagine life with out her.

---------------------------------------

Derek left in the early hours of the day, at about nine in the morning and drove home, creeping up th stairs of his house. He walked into his bedroom door, and went to sleep.

----------------------------------------

All I can say is...


	7. Watch The World Around Fly By Us

He rapped on the door quickly as he heard footsteps click abruptly from inside. He shivered in his coat, hat, and scarf as she opened the door a crack, careful not to let the cold in, the snow swirling around her feet as she threw on a pair of white gloves to match her other articles of warmth. Their lips met, only for a second before they pulled away. A simple kiss for a simple occasion, just a walk through a park.

Tiny frozen christals of water fell from the sky, capping the trees and sticking to the branches and riding in the wind, creating tiny mounds of fluff. He locked hands with her, their fingers inter winding, creating a small beacon of warmth in a world that was otherwise cold. Then he pulled her close to her, careful to avoid small patches of ice on the rocky gravel path.

"Well, sir. Thank you for taking me on this walk-" Laine smiled as she watched her black converse tip-toe along on the winter ground. She gave his hand a play full squeeze.

"Thank you for coming, M'lady" Derek said wincing. It may of only been thirty degrees out but the snow was nippy and cold, seeming to cut right through his body. And if the snow was cutting through his body, then Laine, who was at least forty pounds lighter than him, must feel like screaming.

"I thought there was soposed to be a suprise" Laine burst out abruptly. It was ovbious that she was unable to contain herself.

"All in good time-" Derek smiled as he lead her down the path faster. It was desolate out. This winter had been harder than any other Derek had seen before, starting early, and he was sure that it was going to last at least three more months, but he had no doubt that with in the month of April, the snow would melt, and that Spring would peak through the dirt to return Canada to it's natural beauty. But for now, all Derek had to look at was white. The blinding snow that seemed to take over every millimeter of his vision.

"I've got to tell you, babe-" Laine said as she smiled a bit. "I've never really been paitient. How about giving me a hint?"

Derek thought for a moment. "It's something that you've always wanted to do-" he said simply, not wanting to give away too much information.

"I think that I am going to pee myself in anticipation-" Laine said sarcastically as Derek let out a chuckle. In truth, she was excited. Derek could see though she tried to hide it behind those rosy cheeks against a pale face. They turned the corner slowly as Derek stopped in front of a small pond. "What are you doing?" Laine asked, ovbiously confused as she saw Derek run over to a tree. which had a gym bad chained to it, much like a child's bike would in the summer. He brought it over to her, unzipping it while talking. "I was thinking about you last night-" he said as he looked at her and smiled "And I was trying to think of something special I could do for out anniversary-"

"You remembered-" Laine said, her eyes illuminating like Christmas bulbs.

"Of coarse-" Derek smiled. "So I replayed just about every conversation that we have ever had and one inpeticular stood out in my mind. The first serious conversation we ever had- in the hospital." He saw Laine make a face. He knew fully that she did not want to talk about the hospital. She said that they spent so much time thinking about getting out when they were there, that it was way too ironic to think about the hospital when they were out in the world. "-And we discussed all the things that we wanted to do with our lives. I recalled the last thing that came for your lips, and I quote 'Go ice skating in my bathing suit' So, I decided to have some fun-" he said as he took two pairs of white ice skates, and a bathing suit that he had sneaked from her dresser. He pointed to the pond. "And that is our skating rink"

The smile on Laine's face was so large, that Derek was scared that her cheeks might pop. Laine remembered the conversation well, and even though she had been joking, the fact alone that Derek had remembered and actually listened to her was just so incredibly sweet that she could hardly contain her joy. This was all just so random, so unlike Derek. She couldn't help but just stand there in awe, looking out into the icy pond, which had clearly been frozen through.

"So, let's get going" Derek said as he ripped off his heavy winter coat and shirt that lay underneath that. It took a few seconds for the cold to get to him, but when it did, it cut through him like a hot knife. He sat down on his jacket, taking off his pants, hsi bathing suit underneath. "Well, come on-" He smiled as he turned the other way to change.

Laine took off her jacket as she put on her bathing suit that Derek had brought. In truth, she could care less if Derek saw her naked. It wasn't like it was a new experience to him. God. He was just so different. He was the polar opposite of the adverage teenage horny male. He didn't care about sex. Not really. Sure, it was definitely a plus, but she was sure that he would still be as madly in love with her is che had chosen to stay a virgin until marriage. He heard her plump out into the snow and put her skates on. She got onto the ice. It seemed like forever since she had been skating- more than five years. She had taken lessons when she was younger, and fallen in love with it, but after she got sick, it was just another one of the things she had to give up. With every step she took out onto the ice, it was like a bolt of lightening went through her. She had forgot ton the cold, that just a few seconds ago had been so severe on her body, and it seemed that everything that had mattered when she was a child came back to her.

Derek watched, sitting on his jacket as he saw Laine. She honestly looked like an angel as she danced along, tiny snowflakes swirling along with her. It was almost like the snow on the ground was stepping out of the way for her, and she didn't really seem to notice that he was not there with him. He was so happy to see her happy. Perfectly and genuinely happy. He knew that it had been some time since she had felt that way. She always put on this front, this face that everything was fine- that she was ok, but Derek could see past that. He knew that past that sexy smile and sultry eyes was one of the saddest people he had ever come to know, and that made him furious. He was so angered that someone that beautiful, on the inside as well as the out had to go through so much hurt in there lives. He stepped out onto the ice cautiously. These skates were very much different from the ones he was used to skating in for hockey. He skated over to Laine, who was waiting for him. He gasped as he took Laine into his arms.

He hadn't relized how cool it actually was until he felt the warmth of her body against his. She warmed him up. Then again, Derek thought with a crooked smile, Laine always seemed to warm him up.

----------------

Yeah, I know a little boring, but I already have the next chapter down and it is nothing like this. I knew that I said the story was going to be Dasey, but then the story took a life of it's own so whatever. Read, Reveiw, Suggest. I love you! Ha... It's been a long day. Aiden.


	8. I Needed You To Stay

Chapter 8

I Needed You To Stay

Casey had been hard to deal with. She had become so bitter lately, and George and Nora had noticed. They didn't know of her and Derek's relationship, however so breif, and he was thankful for that everyday. He was terrified to know what they might say. But Casey made it obvious that there was a terrible falling out, and Derek knew that the parents had already spent a great deal time trying to figure out exactly what that falling out had been.

He shivered as he took a step out of his car and walked into the hospital parking lot. Laine was back there, he thought with worry as he ran in. He ran to her room, and almost cried when he saw her. As much as it hurt him to say it- she looked like the living image of death.

He had gotten a phone call from her best friend, Kayla only a half an hour ago. From what the sixteen year old girl could tell him in her panicked voice, the two had gone to look for dresses for the schools winter formal. When they returned back to Laine's house, she seemed tired and put on her jacket, and calmly asked Kayla to drive her to the hospital. On the way Laine had seen a stray dog, and she demanded that Kayla pull over. Derek had smiled. That was so like Laine, to put others before her, even in the worst of situations. As soon as Laine had stepped out of the car, she hti the ground.

The ambulance had brought her here, and from what Derek could gather, she was stable, no better and no worse than she had been before. They had no explanation for why she had gotten so violently ill so quickly. Derek had gotten more bitter towards the doctors lately. It seemed like they never had an answer for anything these days.

He approached her bed quietly, tip toeing care full not to wake her. He sat down on an uncomfortable chair, and grabbed her hand. He jumped when he felt her cool hand against hers. She didn't move. Not even a flinch to signal that she knew he was there with her. Even if she did know, Derek doubted that she would believe it. She had spent so much of her time alone in this hospital. It was at that moment that Derek found the overpowering sensation to just take her and hold her in his arms. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be al right, and that he was there for her, no matter what. He wanted to let her know that he loved her, and that he would do anything for her. Anything to save her from-

No.

He wasn't going to think about that. Now because he didn't think it would happen, but because he knew that his heart couldn't take it. He couldn't bear to think of the hours, minutes, even seconds that he would have to spend without her. Without her smile, or the sweet smell or her hair, or the way that her cheeks blushed when she got mad. And he knew that is Laine died, he would die, too.

He felt a tear roll down his cheek, and in a matter of seconds one tear turned into two, two into three, and three into a sea of muffled sobs. Derek hadn't cried since he was nine years old, and all at one, all those suppressed feelings came to surface. He cried for his mom, and her horrible death, and he cried for himself, and the disease that he had been burdened with, but most of all, he cried for Laine.

It killed him, physically killed him to stand by and watch her beauty parish away as her deseise ate away at her body, soul and mind. But most of all, her spirit.

It seemed like she never laughed anymore. Never smiled or had fun. It seemed like she had lost the will to experience all of the things that made life so much more worth it.

It seemed like she had given up on life.

-----------

Derek sat there for four hours. Just sat there, holding her hand. Listening to the rhythmic beathing of her heart. Listening to her breathed. Inhail, exhail, watching her chest rise and fall, praying that with every fall of the chest, a rise would fallow. There was always darkness before dawn.

He didn't care what those obnoxious moniters beeping in the background said. He could tell, deep, in the pit of his stomach, that she was really sick.

It took him another hour to pry his fingers from hers. He just wanted to stay with her. Is she woke up, and he wasn't there, if the first sight she saw when she opened her eyes was another empty room, he wasn't sure if he could ever forgive himself. But alas, numerous cell phone calls and threats of having his father come down to the hospital to get him home, he had to leave. He just prayed that she stay al right. He prayed that he would be there when she woke up.

But she didn't wake up that night.

Or the next.

Or the next.

Derek thought that he was going to go crazy. He just wanted her to wake up and smile at him and say one of her smart ass jokes. He just wanted everything to be the way it was. The way it was before all this bullshit. He longed not to be sick anymore. He could handle all the chemo and radiation and he could even handle loosing his hair. But what he couldn't handle was the stress that he was putting on hsi family.

He had told Edwin and Marti last night. Lizzie had known for awhile. She had figured it out herself. She was always smart like that, watching and observing. She had just put two and two together. Marti had started crying, not because she was sad and scared, but mostly because she didn't understand. And Edwin? Derek had never seen Edwin like that. He just stared at Derek. Just sat and stared. He had expected him to yell or scream or something. Anything would of been better than that dead stare.

He sat like that for minuted, but every minute that passed felt like an eternity. Derek wanted to leave, but couldn't. Not when his little brother was trying to process the information.

Derek let Ed know that he was going to be fine. (Atleast that he thought he was going to be fine) and that he was telling him because he knew he was going to get better.

And then he left. Just got up and left. And what did Derek do? Instead of going and chasing after his brother he went to his room and sat. Sat and stared.

And that was where he was now. Sitting in his office chair, like he had done so many times before. He was silent and still, and he wasn't getting up. Not to do anything. He heard a knock at the door, and he didn't answer it. This had been happening periodically for the last hour. The person on the other side of the door juggled the lock handle a little bit, and then walked away. He heard the footsteps echo in the hall way.

He sighed as he buried his head in his hands. He was exhausted, not just mentally, but physically and emotionally as well. He just needed to talk, to vent, but his best friend was lying in an unconscious state. He and Sam hadn't talked in weeks. They had been best friends for nearly nine years, and now Derek couldn't bear to be around him. And Casey? God- she couldn't even look at him anymore.

Derek couldn't be positive, but he was pretty sure that when he chose Laine, a part of him changed, and he wasn't sure if that was for the better. She had been acting differently lately, talking and dressing differently. Her school work had fallen behind, which Derek knew that had she been in the right mind, never would of happened. How had he screwed up his life so much?

A tear rolled down his cheek. He wasn't sure why. It seemed like every second of every day, all he felt like doing is crying. Just sobbing. All he wanted to do was for it to end. For it to stop- for good. He stopped, another tears meeting his flesh. All he wanted to do was be with Laine. His love. She wasn't;t going to wake up, he was pretty sure. And when she finally let go, let go of life and the distant thoughts and memories, he would be waiting for her.

He rummaged through his dresser and pulled out a small orange plastic overed razor blade. He had used it a few months ago to cut through piece of drywall. he placed his thumb on a small back button, revealing the heavy blade. He took a deep breath as he pressed it into his arm. It hurt, but no worse than his treatments did, and only for a minute or two.

He watched as his blood, the very thing that sustained him drain out of his body and on the the carpeted floor, staining it a deep maroon. He closed his eyes as a few more tears streamed down his face, but they were not tears of regret. They were tears of joy. Soon, he would see her again.

His breathing grew heavy as his body began to shiver. Suddenly, he was thirsty, ever so thirsty. He tried to move, but he couldn't It was like he had been paralyzed. He found himself slip out of consciousness, the picture of Laine in his mind.

He hit the ground.

---------------

Trust me, it's not what you think. All that is well, ends well.

Read and Review.

Aiden.


	9. Progress Report:I'm Missing You To Death

Chapter Nine

Progress Report: Missing You To Death

--------------

His finger twitched. It was such a small movement, so tiny and miniscule that it was almost inconceivable how this tiny spasm of a muscle in his index finger could effect a person so much.

Lain Bishop stopped breathing. It as only for a minute, but she was sure. Ever so sure that if she stopped breathing, and held her breath for just that moment, he would come back.

But He didn't.

--------------

Laine walked slowly into the hall of the hospital, the faded patterns of tears on her face, green pajama bottoms and a pink sweatshirt clothing her. She had done this. It was her that had pushed him to the limit. Forced him to attempt suicide.

She closed her eyes as she placed her hand on the guard rail. Her legs shook under he own body weight. Her memory was short, but she knew what had happened to her. She had been in a comatose-like state for almost two weeks. Two more weeks gone to waste. Two more weeks stolen from her life.

The doctors didn't know what was wrong with her, but she did. Deep down she knew. The anemia, the sick feeling in her stomach, the horrible muscle cramps. It was just like when she was thirteen. Only this time, no one was going to die so that she could live. She had received her second chance at life, and now it was her turn to give someone a few more years.

That's why she had moved down to the first floor of the large hospital, though she would never tell Derek. She wanted to get to know the children that would someday soon get her body parts. Her liver would go to Daniel Morgan, ages even. Her lungs, to Jonathan Carter, age 31, father to Lucie and Kenn. And her heart was to go to Alexei Banning, but even the promise of a new heart couldn't help him hold on, so now it would go to Jessica Sherman, 15.

She wanted to get to know the people who would get to do the things that she would never get to do, see things that she would never get to see. She wanted to get to know the people who would do good things in the world, be good people. She wanted to meet the people who would carry on her legacy.

She let out a sigh, long and sad as she began to feel drained, but she didn't let it effect her. She had to be strong, if not for herself, then for Derek. She knew that physically, it had been two weeks since she had seen Derek. Two weeks was a long time. 14 days, 336 hours, 20160 minutes, 1209600 seconds. It had been 14 days since she had smiled. Two weeks since she had been happy.

Laine turned the corner. She didn't know who she was looking for, but she felt that she had to keep walking all the way back to Derek's room. She had to go back because if she just went back to her room and took a nap, and just laid there waiting to die, without seeing Derek's face, she would never be able to forgive herself.

If she just kept walking, it was like she was giving up on Derek.

And she could never do that, not after all he had done for her. And in the bottom of her heart, she knew that if it hadn't been for Derek, she wouldn't be alive that day.

Derek helped her through every day. He helped to keep her strong, to keep her holding on. Before she had met Derek, she had placed very little value on her life, and now that she had him, living meant everything to her.

Before she had Derek in her life, everything was dull, but once she met him, it was like a veil had been lifted from the world.

She took a deep breath before entering again, and when she stepped back into the hospital room. She had also stepped over a line in her heart. She began to feel feelings of deep sadness that she had never felt before.

She walked over to Derek's bed solemnly to the same place where she had sat before. Except this time it was different. Last time she had sat in this chair, she had a devout feeling of hope, but now she was hopeless. She had never been like this before. Never been in this state of depression. This was such a classic tale, Laine couldn't help but think in her mind. A tale of two star-crossed lovers.

At that moment she felt that she would of given him anything, anything she could if only he would just open his eyes.

But he never did.

So she just sat there. Like she had on so many other occasions, an she wasn't leaving him. Not now, not ever.

--------------------

She was shifted awake by a rustling body coming through the door. Even though she was awake, it took her several moments to muster up all the energy inside of her to move her head off Derek's bed. Eyes still closed, she raised her head, scratching and moving her blonde hair out of her way, green eyes taking a moment to adjust to the light. She didn't know how long she had been out, and she didn't care. All that she knew was that Derek was still gone.

Her eyes shifted to the door, and they narrowed in hatred. She was faced with the stature of a person who kept good health. 140 pounds five foot six with chestnut brown hair immaculately kept. She was faced with none other than the silhouette of Casey MacDonald.

Casey looked at her not knowing what to say. Her mouth was silent and her eyes were blank, as if to look at Laine for the answer. Lain stared at her. She didn't like Casey. She never had. It was just a thing understood between them. At school, Casey was part of the group of studious girl, and Laine was part of the- not so studious girls. The girls that were more into partying and having fun, and if that meant smoking and drinking- then so be it. Laine had denied it for years, but she was part of the popular group. They were the girls who acted like a friend to your face, but once you turned your back, they were gone.

What had taken Casey so long? She knew from the many things that Derek told her that this was Casey's first visit, and all of a sudden, anger swelled up inside of her. Where had Casey been when Derek had needed her the most? Probably at home, feeling sorry for herself or with that backstreet boy look alike Sam Cooper.

Laine's eyes shot daggers for just seconds before calming herself. She took a deep breath as she squeezed Derek's hand gently. She didn't know if he would want her to be there, but what she did know was that he needed love, and for just a second, Laine pushed all of her anger aside. "Come on and sit down-" Laine said as she nodded her head towards a chair on the other side of the bed.

Casey let out what looked like a sigh of relief, but Laine didn't care.

Her job wasn't to cordial and polite. Not to make conversation or to care what was on her mind. She didn't have to listen to this girls problems. But apparent ally, she had never met Casey MacDonald.

"I wasn't sure weather or not to come-" the girl spat at a mile a minute "But it seemed like a good thing to do. It seemed like it needed to be done-"

Casey stopped talking, noticing the look in Casey's eye. She couldn't quite place that look, but silenced herself anyways.

So they sat. In silence. The two women who were in love with DerekVenturi.  
-----------------  
Hey. There was actually more to this chapter, but I got sick of typing. I should have it up this weekend.  
Read and Review. Love,Aiden.


	10. It's True I Can't Go On Without You

Chapter Ten

It's True, I Can't Go On Without You

------------------

After Casey had left, Laine had continued her pattern. She just sat. Her hand soaked the coarse skin of Derek's.

She had never felt more alone that when Casey MacDonald had been in that room with them, because she knew that Casey was who Derek had been with before her.

There was a hint of jealousy on her behalf. Jealous because she knew that Casey had had him first.

It was silly for her to be jealous. After all, who had he chose? Who was he with now? Who had he been with longer? The thing that bothered Laine was just that. With Derek girlfriends came and went, and so would she. But Casey would be around forever, because not only were they lovers, but they were also brother and sister, and family bonds lasted forever, even if they were a merged family.

She buried her head, holding Derek's hand next to her cheek, kissing it gently. Now was not the time to be doubting herself and her's and Derek's relationship. She was being neurotic and reading too much into the situation.

Casey's visits had been nothing more than a concerned family member stepping in to see how her ill brother was doing.

George stopped by every day, and Nora twice a day, always bringing a kid with her. Except Marti. She was too young. And when they came to visit she was polite. She would give Derek's hand a squeeze and a kiss on the forehead, meeting his warm skin with her tender lips, and walked out the door. And then she would sit. Just sit in the hallway until they left.

It was never long, maybe forty-five minutes to an hour a day. There wasn't much that they could do for him. She thought that they came more because it was expected out of them, rather than them needing to. The real trip for Laine was when Edwin had come. Edwin had come into the room, not even giving Laine the slightest glance before sitting down in the leather upholstered chair. Laine left the room, but not before seeing Edwin pull our a hockey puck. She wasn't sure, but she must of sat in that hallway, on the cold tile floor that was unnaturally white for the greater part of the day. At least five hours. She was out there for so long, that she had actually fallen asleep. She never would of even known that the twelve-year-old had left, if she had not heard the heavy wooden door slam from behind her.

Laine closed her eyes slightly. Hope was with her. She was sure that Derek was going to wake up, but not before he was ready too. His body had lost a lot of blood, and it needed to replenish itself before opening those bedroom eyes to greet her once again.

She missed him so much. She missed his touch. She stood up, looking at his face, smoothing down his bangs. She grabbed a scrap of blanket as she pulled herself into his bed, placing his arm around her. She kissed his cheek, and closed her eyes. She could feel the love on his body, even if her wasn't there to show it. But he would be. One day.

-----------------

Casey had made it all the way up to her bedroom before slamming her door shut and collapsing onto the floor in a fit of compulsive sobs. Terrible was the only word that she could use to describe it. It was been terrible sitting with that girl, and it had been terrible sitting at the hospital. She stopped crying because she knew. The most terrible thing of all was relising that she was still in love with Derek.

She was just a girl who was in love with a boy who was in love with someone else. And Casey hated it. She tucked a tear soaked strand of hair behind her ear. She had promised herself that she would never fall for anyone that couldn't fall for her right back.

And what had she done?

She had probably picked the most terrible person to fall in love with.

For starters, Derek was her brother. Her brother for gods sake. What the hell had she been thinking? And not only that, but he was a player, too. He never stayed with one girl for too long. She knew this, but had still gone head over heels for him.

She hated him. She knew in her heart that she could never be with him again, for what he had done to her, and she hated him for it. What kind of person did that to another person? Who made someone fall for them, seduce them, make out with them in their car, all to hook up with another girl.

God, she hated him.

But then she would think of his smile. That goofy as hell smile, and that heartsick look he would get when he played too much Babe Raider. It would be these thoughts that would bring her back again.

But Derek had changed her, and she knew this. He would never be the same, and he would never be with her. That's when she started to cry again.

---------------

His eyes flickered open, but immediately snapped shut. The light was blinding; absolutely and painfully blinding. But at the same time, it was beautiful, like the moonlight, and that caused him to open his eyes again. He felt eerily groggy, like he had been sleeping for a very long time.

The room was dark, except for that light that had stirred him from his slumber. He was unaware of his surroundings for a moment, and began to regain feeling in his limbs. The memories hit him in a powerful wave.

He looked at his wrists, his suspicions confirmed. His wrists were not bandaged or stitched, and the only sign of his attempted suicide were two scarred and jagged slits just above his wrist bone.

Suddenly, a chill went through his body.

Laine.

Where was she? Was she alright? How could he of been so selfish?

HE tried to get up, but became aware of a dead weight against his body. He looked and saw the only thing that he at the moment, had craved. He ran his hand through her blonde hair as she stirred. He was trying to be careful not to wake her, but he had not yet gotten acclimated to his body, and she arose.

Her eyes opened, meeting his. She looked at him unbelievingly. "It must be a dream-" She whispered.

"It's no dream-" Derek said as he stroked her hand with his thumb.

She broke down, just then in a fit of tears. "I was so scared-" She sobbed, barely audible, "So scared that you were never going to-"

"Shhhh-" Derek whispered to her, as he kissed her forehead. Eyes closed, promising himself never to forger this moment. "Everything's alright, baby." At that moment he was so crazy and happy and euphoric at the same time. He didn't know how he had ever left her. "I'll never do that again-" was all he said. "I'll never leave you again-"

And that was enough.

-------------

Hey.

I think that I only have, like two or three chapters left before I am done with this.

Casey is comming back, and I hope that you like.

I am a little stuck on the ending though.

Aiden


	11. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

You Only Hold Me Up Like This

Chapter Eleven

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

---------

Derek's recovery was swift and quick, and when he left the hospital, he was more healthy than he was when he had come in. And Laine, alone with Derek's improved health had also gained some strength.

But she was so distant. More distant than Derek had ever thought possible. He had never felt more alone than he did when he was with her. But Derek knew Laine better than he knew himself. He knew exactly what she was trying to do, and he would never let it happen. She was trying to get him to fall out of love with her.

Derek was angry at her for this, but not a thousand fights could make him hate her. She was invincible to him. She was just trying to look out for him, which just made it harder for him to be mad at her. She was trying to make it easier for him when she was gone. She had an insane notion that she was going to die, but Derek could never believe that. Despite what the doctors said, he could feel his body getting stronger, healthier. And he knew that just as his body had healed itself, hers would too.

He was tired of being alone.

He was tired of feeling alone.

Because he knew in his heart that he was born to tell Laine that he loved her. He wanted her to touch his hand ever so softly, just like she used to. That was when he felt closest to her. That was when he felt almost alive.

-------

Three days.

That was how long it had been since he had seen her. It was like Laine had disappeared off the face of the Earth. He had called, E-mailed, text messaged, and spent hours knocking on her front door.

And he had had enough.

Pushing him away hadn't worked. It wasn't going to work. When Laine disappeared like this, it scared him. It terrified him and sent a chilling feeling down his spine.

He grabbed a crowbar from the passengers seat as he walked up the driveway to Laine's house. He was not suprised when he saw no car parked in the driveway. Of coarse her parents weren't home.

Derek was suprised that Laine had actually turned out a good as she had, what with her completely absent parents. He had never seen anything quite like this, and it made him appreciate his family life, with all their imperfections all the much more. He was suprised to find that the door was unlocked, and he pushed it open, and didn't think twice before he walked up the stairs, and into Laine's room.

She looked so graceful when she was sleeping, like an angel. She never snored, or made any noise. She just laid peacefully in that bed. The bed where they had spent hours talking, and making love in. Derek loved that bed. He walked over to her, sitting down next to get and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Her eyes snapped shot immediately. "Derek?" She questioned.

Derek gave a weak smile. "The one and only-"

"What are you doing in my house?" She said as she sat up on the bed, squinting her eyes painfully. This must of been a bad day for her.

"The door was open-" He said.

"No, I mean why are you in my house?"

"I missed you."

"So?"

"I had to see you-"

"I've been busy"

"Yeah, no kidding-"

"What's that soposed to mean?" Laine said defensively.

"For all intensive purposed, you've disappeared-"

"So what? Aren't I allowed to have some alone time-"

Derek stopped talking to her, and looked into her baby blue eyes. They were so stunning. God, it was so hard to be mad at her. "Laine, just cut the shit, alright. You're not doing anyone any favors by locking yourself up in this room for a week. I'm not leaving, and I'm not just going to forget about you."

Laine's face started to turn red in anger. She always looked so cute when she was mad. "Get the hell-" He kissed her. She hated how she melted in that kiss. She hated how that was all he had to do, and she turned into silly putty.

He took her face in his hands, kissing her forehead. "I don't care what type of crazy stunt your trying to pull, but it isn't going to work. I could never stay away from you for that long, and you know that."

Laine couldn't protest. Normally she would put up a fight, but she was too tired and too deprived of him to do any real damage. She just melted into his arms, and let him hold her. He seemed better, healthier to her. He held himself differently.

For so long she had been the strong one, and not Derek was going to have to hold her up.

"Laine-" Derek said.

"Yeah-" she jumped. She had fallen asleep in his arms, but only for a second.

"Will you go to prom with me?" He asked.

"When?"

"Tomorrow night-"

She just gave his hand a squeeze.

She hoped she could make it that long.

-------

Yeah, I know it's taken awhile. Sorry...but I finally got it up. I am thinking two more chapters, and I already know the ending.

You wont guess so don't try.

I put up a fanfic website for myself. It's pretty cool. I have video promos for all my stories(including this one) and you see what the char actors look like, chat, and rate. The address is freewebs (dot)com(slash)aainsley. The address is also on my fanfic. net profile so check it out.

I am gonna try and have these last chapters up by Friday.

Aiden.


	12. Stay Awake For Me

You Only Hold Me Up Like This

Chapter Twelve

Stay Awake For Me --------------

Derek woke up mid afternoon the next day, his mind and heart twisted in a mix between anticipation and sheer joy. It was hard for him to believe that he had known Laine for nearly eight months. It seemed like only yesterday that he and Casey were making out in his car.

Boy had things changed, he noted as he stood outside the bathroom. He had been waiting for nearly a half an hour to take a piss, brush his teeth, and take a shower. He was grateful that he was a guy. He could hardly imagine the stress and torture a girl went through before prom.

"Casey" he said, knocking on the door for what seemed like the tenth series that day "I'm gonna piss myself if you don't get out of there right now-"

"Good-" Casey yelled through the door. He could hear her turn on the blow drier.

'Well, at least she's decent-' he muttered under his breath, barging into the bathroom, unzipping his fly, and went to the bathroom.

"Gross-" Casey screamed as she took her glance away from his. She brushed her hair rigorously.

"What are you getting all ready for?" Derek asked her.

"Prom-" She said simply.

"What?"

"Prom."

"No, I mean...what?"

Casey looked at Derek like he was an idiot. "I'm going to prom."

"Yeah, but you- your not old enough!" Derek said.

"I'm going with Max-" Casey said. She couldn't help but smirk a little. She had no idea that Derek was going to react like this. It gave her a feeling of satisfaction inside. "He's in your grade-"

"Casey, don't you know what happens on prom night?" Derek asked.

"Of coarse I do, Derek. I am not nine years old." She began to apply a thin layer of makeup to her face as that smirk glued to her lips. She didn't really need all that makeup, Derek thought.

"No, that's not what I meant." Derek said, shaking his head. He turned to her, "I mean theres a lot of drinking and stuff?"

"So?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, I mean, that's not really your sceene-"

"Derek, I am sixteen years old-"

"Just turned-"

"- and I can do whatever the hell I want, when I want-" and with that, she walked out of the bathroom, and slammed her bedroom door.

"She better not dare-" Derek wispiered underneath his breath.  
-------

Derek felt his heart drop to his feet. Never, never in his life had he seen such a beautiful creature. She seemed to glow, with such a radiance that Derek just knew that God in heaven was jelous of her.

"Hi-" Laine said as Derek pinned a corsage onto her wrist. Her makeup was light, focussing on those blue eyes that he could stare into for hours. Her dress was short, but not too revealing with a layered skirt. It was a light turquoise color, popping out her stunning eyes even more. Her hair was down, and she had allowed it's natural curl to come out.

"Hi---" Derek said. He was actually breathless at the mere sight of his girlfriend. Speechless, even, and that was derfinately a first for Derek. Luckily, she spoke.

"Shall we?" She asked, as she held out her hand for him to grab. He took it.

She was so tired, so completely exhausted. Rachel had come over, and helped her with her hair and her makeup, at ten in the morning. She had woken up at six to go to the hospital for a dialysis treatment. The nurses were suprised to see her still walking. She focussed on the clicking of her heels, because it was the only thing that could keep her mind straight, and off the pain in her stomach.

Derek opened the door, and she smiled gratefully as she got in. He shut the door, and ran over to his own side, and got into the car, kissing her Laine on the cheek. She smiled thoughtfully, as she grabbed his hand, rubbing it up against her cheek. "What did I do to deserve you?" She wispiered.

"Guess you were just at the right place at the right time-" Derek smiled as she kissed his hand. He started the car.

She closed her eyes as he drove, just taking this in. Taken in the whole moment. She was al right with it, she decided if she died. She had got do experience so much more than she ever would of had she died three years ago. She had fallen in love, had some of the best moments of her life, and now she was sitting in a beat up old 1984 Honda with the boy she was madly in love with, going to her Junior Prom.

"Laine?" Derek said concerned.

"Wha- Oh. Sorry..." She smiled. She hadn't even noticed the car had stopped. "Sorry, babe. I must of fallen asleep there." They were at their school now. She opened up the car door, and stepped out slowly, wincing in pain and she stumbled out the door. "Whoops-" She said, as she nearly fell to the ground. "Must be these shoes-"

She knew that wasn't the truth.

"Well let me help you there, Miss Bishop-" Derek smiled as he grabbed her hand.

"Well thank you, Mister Venturi-" Laine said. She just wanted this nite to be everything Derek wanted it to be.

As she walked along, she could start to feel her vision blurring. Derek opened the door, and she stepped inside. At least they made it to prom. Laine looked up at him, as she gabbed his face. She pressed her lips ever so lightly against his. She put his hands on her waist. He could feel her trembling. "I just wanted to do that-" She said, and seconds later, she hit the ground.  
------------

Derek could feel the tears dripping from his eyes, onto her hand that he pressed to his face. He had been begging her, pleading for her not to leave him. But the doctors said that she was going to leave him, and soon if they didn't find a donor.

And god were they looking.

Derek had thought about this moment for months, and had rehearsed what he would say if it actually ever happened. If his first love actually died, but at that moment, everything that he had ever thought of, had excaped his mind.

He just kept repeating the same words over and over again.

"I love you, Laine. Please don't go. I need you-"

But he could sense her leaving him, slowly. Even though her eyes were closed, he could just see the life deminishing from them. The monitor beeped in his ears.

And then it stopped.

And he thought he would die there.

But it started again. And he cried again.

He had been there for nearly three hours, and this mantra had repeated. Suddenly a nurse burst into the room. "We have a donor-" She gasped as two more rushed into the room, and began connecting and disconnecting wires. There were so many wired.

"Where are her parents?"

"Gone..." Derek said teary eyed.

"Oh no-" The nurse said.

"What?" Derek asked.

"We need perental permission-"

Derek glanced at the nurse, and then back at Laine. "I'm her husband-"

The nurse looked at him cockeyed. "Aren't you a little young?" She asked.

"Seventeen, and her parents gave the OK..." Derek said. He tried to stop crying, but he couldn't. He was so stressed.

"Then let's go-" The nurse said.  
-----------

Derek paced the halls, up and down, up and down.

Up and down.

His vision was blurred with tears and he was near hysterics. It had been six hours since they had taken her.

Six hours was a long time.

A doctor came out. He looked grim, but when he saw Derek, he shook his head and smiled. "Only you would pull that husband shit-"

Derek looked at him blankly.

"We have to wait and see if her body rejects the Kidney. Things are looking good, but they could turn at anytime. For now she's stable. You can go see her in recovery-"

Derek walked away.

"Got to thank the lord for drunk drivers, sometimes-" The doctor muttered.

Derek stopped. "What?" He said as he looked at the doctor.

"Some girl got killed by a drunk driver. That's how your girlfriend got saved. Bittersweet isn't it?'

Derek turned his glance, and saw a swab of a coat. That coat looked so familiar.

"What was the girls name?" Derek asked.

The doctor looked at him. "MacDonald, I think. Yeah.. Casey MacDonald."

Bittersweet.

-------

Not done yet!

I have two more chapters. Told you you wouldnt expect it.

I put up a fanfic website for myself. It's pretty cool. I have video promos for all my stories(including this one) and you see what the char actors look like, chat, and rate. The address is freewebs (dot)com(slash)aainsley. The address is also on my fanfic. net profile so check it out.  
I am gonna try and have these last chapters up by Friday.  
Aiden. 


	13. Heart On A Sleave

You Only Hold Me Up Like

This Chapter Thirteen

My Heart On A Sleeve

----------------

The smell in the air made him want to gag. It was terrible, crisp, but had an old dead smell to it. It was bitter and musty, like something you would find in an old womans home, sinking into the walls, and the furniture.

Roses.

He hated that smell.

It was the smell of death, and Casey had hated that smell too.

She would of hated this.

All these people in their uncomfortable suits sweating in the heat crying over her. Casey had celebrated life, embraced it and grasped it by two horns. And this was not right.

None of it was right.

But he didn't say anything. He just sat there in his chair, in his uncomfortable suit and pink shirt, and felt the happiness in his own heart.

He was never more greatful in his life.

He looked over at Laine. She smiled at him, and he smiled back.

He kissed her hand.

She glowed.

She didn't have all the time in the world, but Casey had given her two new kidneys and ten more years to live.

Ten more years with Derek.

Ten years.

And best of all, Casey had given it willingly.

She had wrote it down in her diary, they had found out after the surgery, that Casey had wished them to Laine

.  
The service ended.

Derek smiled as he took Laine's hand and they went for a walk. The wind was blowing in her hair.

Derek was in remission.

Laine was in good spirits.

And the world had never seemed so beautiful.

"That was good." Laine said certaintly. "Casey, I think would of liked that"

Derek looked at her.

"Ok, your right-" Laine smiled. Derek was so happy that he was able to see that smile. "She would of hated that"

"Yes"

"But it was good for your parents, Lizzie and Ed...Marti"

"Yes-" Derek smiled.

"Woah-" She said as he took her into his arms. "What are you doing"

"Holding you. Enjoying this"

"At your step sisters funeral?" Laine smiled, but she didn't protest.

"Were not going to hide anymore, Laine. Were not going to be scared. Were gonna do what we want when we want-" And he kissed her.

And she kissed him back.

And they danced their prom dance that they never got to have.

"Didn't the roses smell beautiful, Derek"

Derek looked into her eyes and smiled. "Yes, Laine. They smelled wonderfull"  
---------

Thats it. It's done... or is it?

Do you want a sequil? An epilauge? Review or let me know at my fanfic site.

Thankyou all sooo much for reading and reviewing.

I put up a fanfic website for myself. It's pretty cool. I have video promos for all my stories(including this one) and you see what the char actors look like, chat, and rate. The address is freewebs (dot)com(slash)aainsley. The address is also on my fanfic. net profile so check it out.

Aiden.


End file.
